Showing Up Softly

I used to wait for the perfect time to begin something new.
For the stars to align, the schedule to settle, the “right” version of me to arrive.
I kept shifting the goalposts. Lost in thought-loops, overthinking, trying to orchestrate ideal conditions.
The perfect plan. The perfect self.

But the truth is… I was never truly ready.
There was always something in the way - not enough leave, not quite enough savings.
And slowly, opportunities drifted past me, while I stayed still.
Researching, imagining, hoping - but not really living.
Not in harmony with the woman I wanted to become.

For years, I longed to train as a yoga teacher.
I dreamt of India, bookmarked beautiful courses, created detailed timelines.
But obstacles kept appearing, and it never felt like the right moment.

Eventually, I understood that transformation wouldn’t arrive fully formed.
I wouldn’t become who I envisioned until I softened my expectations and began anyway.
Unpolished. Nervous. But willing.

So earlier this year, I stopped waiting.
I joined a local yoga teacher training course - one weekend each month, spread over half a year.
It wasn’t the vision I’d held onto, but it fit the life I’m living now.
And gently, it's bringing me closer to who I want to be.

I didn’t feel courageous walking into the studio on my first day.
My heart was racing, my stomach in knots.
I lit a candle before leaving, hoping it would calm me.
My hands trembled as I rolled out my mat.
But I remained. I moved through the fear. I began.

I'm not the most advanced in the class.
My body resists in places, and the training days can feel long.
But I return. I try. I allow.
And I’ve found a true sense of connection - with others, and with myself.

Now, I’m choosing to write a gentler narrative. One where baby steps matter.

I signed up for a writing class.
Started this blog.
Booked a trip I’ve always wanted to take.
Began studying Italian.
Offered my time to something meaningful.

Each decision is a commitment to inner trust - each moment, a fresh beginning.
An opportunity to finally reshape the narrative I used to believe about myself - that I'm not strong enough, good enough, or ready.

We often wait for confidence to lead the way - but perhaps that’s not how it works.
Perhaps we begin without it.
Perhaps we create it, little by little, by doing the thing anyway.

Let this be your reminder: growth doesn’t always burst in with thunder or fate.
Sometimes, it simply starts with a decision.
One uncertain moment.
A single breath of courage.

If you’re holding back right now, be kind to yourself.
You don’t need to have it all figured out.
You don’t need to feel fearless.

Maybe all you need is a little compassion.
And the courage to try.

That’s more than enough.

The first step is simply showing up.
The rest will unfold from there.